Boss Lady

Beware the feeder(s) in your life


There’s a lot of discussion about the ‘givers’ vs ‘takers’ in our lives. We already know who the givers are: the people who are ‘others-focused’, who provide support and value with no strings attached. And we know the takers are self-focused, try to get as much as they can without giving back in return, and ruthless in their bid to always get what they want without regard for other people… Essentially they are selfish.

However, there is another kind of person you need to be very aware of in your life (both business and personal) and that is the ‘feeder’. Essentially, a feeder is someone who feeds you in order for you to fail at something or to reduce the threat you create by being your absolute best. 

The most obvious example of a feeder in the office is actually in relation to food. You may see this scenario in the workplace with women offering you a piece of cake in front of everyone so you take it and of course eat it. The classic “oh you can have one, you look great” when inside they just want you to inhale some calories to make them feel good and/or to literally make you feel or look worse.

Or you may be in a relationship and find that each time you work out, or mention going on a diet, your partner brings home a special dessert that you just can’t so no to. The Urban Dictionary definition of a feeder is in fact “(usually) a male who likes to encourage weight gain in his partner through the consumption of food.”

Then there are the gossip feeders. Just like the food feeder, they like to fill you up with rubbish to stall you in your tracks and to prevent you from moving forward. 

Gossip is a distraction. It will send your mind — and possibly your decisions — down the wrong path. Remember that gossip is created to destroy people, including those who listen and pay attention to it. 

Flattery is another form of feeding that is toxic. It is never healthy to take flattery literally… it is no doubt the tool used by people to disarm you into a false sense of success, security or comfort. Just like chewing gum — if you must, enjoy a nibble, but spit that thing out ASAP.

Another type of feeding you will experience in business and in life is what I like to call sugar coated lies. You know, the lie that has some truth attached to it or packaged in such a way even you want to believe it. A classic example would be the business coaches promising you to make a 6-figure income after one free information session. You believe it because you want to, but it is nothing but sugar-coated junk statements. If you consume them, you will leave feeling a little sick and sometimes a lot broke. 

The final and could potentially be the most important feeder in your life is YOU. Stop feeding yourself negative thoughts, bad decisions or suggestions that you won’t achieve your goals. Because no matter how much effort you put into ensuring you are not impacted by other potential feeders it all comes down to how you treat and speak to yourself. 

A healthy diet for the mind is just as important as one for the body. Don’t fall for the feeder’s traps.

About Amanda Rose

Founder and CEO of The Business Woman Media. Amanda Rose is also the only 'strategic connector', a brand strategist, keynote speaker and host of Amanda Rose TV. Connect with Amanda Rose on LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter or visit

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