Business of Men

‘Dumb blonde’ with an ‘open legs policy’ 

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Why is it that when a woman is successful and connected, some men feel so threatened that they need to find a justification for why they themselves are not as connected or successful?

In a recent meeting, I was listing a range of people I was connecting with for a client (because that is what I do, I am a Strategic Connector). They were trying to give me tips on how to strategise for my meetings when I said I’m very honest with the people I work with — if I need something I ask and if I can help them I do. I am transparent.

The comment was then made that connecting works for me because I ‘play the dumb blonde card’.

Not because I have spent 10 years building quality relationships with great people and the trust I have with them means I am able to connect honestly and productively.

Shocked? I’m not.

Why? Because this insult is a common reaction from men who can’t understand why a woman younger than them has the ability to connect with so many people so swiftly — and so well.

In my world this happens often. Too often in fact. Both to my face (regularly online by keyboard warriors) and of course behind my back.

Recently I was informed that high profile males were trying to dilute my success and influence within their circles by suggesting I have an ‘open legs policy’.

In this case they have known me for some time and have watched my rise in both profile, success and connections. Instead of reaching out to work with me, they clearly felt it would be better to try and damage my character within my networks.

Foolishly, they had no idea how many of my valuable connections were quick to inform me of what was happening.

It is both exhausting and disappointing to see this happening to business women (or any woman for that matter).

This is why I have a Blacklist. It is my private list of all the people who have spent time and effort to try and destroy me. I remain silent about who they are and I am respectful when I see them in person, however they are barred from any opportunities or connections I have now or in the future.

Building a business on your own as a woman is tough.

We don’t need this bullshit.

We will deal with it, we will move past it and we will rise like a phoenix while we leave the haters behind us in the ashes.

About Amanda Rose

Founder and CEO of The Business Woman Media. Amanda Rose is also the only 'strategic connector', a brand strategist, keynote speaker and host of Amanda Rose TV. Connect with Amanda Rose on LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter or visit www.amandaroseofficial.com.

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8 Comments

  1. Karen@solacecreations.com.au'

    Karen Porter

    July 2, 2017 at 7:45 pm

    I had a woman post a review on my business Facebook page last night and it was disgusting as she has never met me.. She has listened to an ex husband that I left 5 years ago but her views from him were important enough for her to slander me. My Solicitor will be in touch. Not sure what she got out of it

  2. balogkay@yahoo.com'

    Olukayode Balogun

    July 3, 2017 at 6:07 pm

    I learnt a lot by taking a few minutes to read this article, it is a reflection of what smart ladies go through in the work place. Such prejudices will take a while before they are done away with but surely, they can’t last. Thanks Amanda.

  3. coshimawork@gmail.com'

    Carlo Oshima

    July 3, 2017 at 9:05 pm

    You are a Grade A, [email protected]$$ with a Masters in Awesome. I would do business with you than some toxic tool any day of the week.

  4. pdstickel@gmail.com'

    Paul Stickel

    July 4, 2017 at 12:49 am

    I don’t get it, I have found that women can more willing to help and not stab you in the back. They don’t have the kill or be killed attitude. Men sometimes are way to competitive even when it is totally unnecessary. I have always told my wife that women are a whole lot easier to work with than men. I find that is not only easier but healthier to help someone succeed rather than to try and drag someone down to make you feel better.

  5. luis_tovar@hotmail.co.uk'

    Luis Rodolfo Tovar

    July 4, 2017 at 2:09 am

    This is sad to see. Specially in a competitive field where respect, transparence and trust are of paramount importance. Gossip and label are the tools of the cowards the week and sadly the unprofessionals.

  6. wlprospectingtx@gmail.com'

    mark

    July 4, 2017 at 2:26 am

    Hey Amanda, I have have a blacklist as well. As an ethical, moral and small business owner, I see this behavior everyday. Very very sad.
    Have an awesome day.
    Mark

  7. Simonca@waitrose.com'

    Caroline

    July 6, 2017 at 4:35 pm

    You are an inspiration. And a useful way of dealing with negativity. Thanks for sharing.

  8. Sbrogan57@gmail.com'

    Suzanne

    July 11, 2017 at 11:48 pm

    I’ve worked in a male dominated industry for 40 years. I’ve gained respect for my knowledge and ability to get the job done. I have no tolerance for head games and b/s. The first thing I tell a new boss is that I’m not an a$$ kisser. If that doesn’t work for them, I will move on. Haven’t been released from a position yet. Keep up the good fight. There is still so mich we need to do as women to gain the respect we deserve in the work world.

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