Boss Lady

Speaking your mind is not a skill, and should not be encouraged 


Some people seem proud to announce at every opportunity they have no problems speaking their mind. They are constantly telling us That ‘speaking their mind’ is ‘who they are’, as if it is a skill they have mastered through years and years of beComing a professional.

But speaking your mind is not a professional behaviour.

If you look at 3-year-old child you will find the same level of unrestrained expression. This is not a high level of emotional intelligence, or EQ as it is known. Children — particularly in the toddler tantrum years — always speak their mind, and generally without understanding the consequences of doing so.

Adults speak their mind openly and without regard for others for two main reasons: The first is because they lack emotional maturity and discretion, the second is because they want a reaction.

Some people do both.

A recent example is the saga around Mia Freedman’s interview process with US author Roxane Gay. Freedman felt the need to speak her mind without any understanding, compassion or discretion.

This sort of unrestrained urge may be a sign of a low EQ but it is also a very deliberate act by MamaMia and many online bloggers and writers to gain a reaction. Negative or positive, it doesn’t matter as it will keep their brand in the media for yet another week. And that means money.

It is disappointing that a majority of society rewards this kind of outburst rather than promoting and encouraging wisdom and discretion.

By all means speak the truth, but communicate it up in a way that reflects quality, strong values and understanding.

Strong-minded successful women know when to speak and when to remain silent. They also have an ability to promote without insulting and have a respect for other women (and men).

About Amanda Rose

Founder and CEO of The Business Woman Media. Amanda Rose is also the only 'strategic connector', a brand strategist, keynote speaker and host of Amanda Rose TV. Connect with Amanda Rose on LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter or visit

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