There is an old saying when working for a company, that ‘the boss is always right’. But, what if this was wrong? What if you can have full confidence in you and your abilities in the workplace, no matter if it’s wrong or right?
When you think for a few minutes, you can say with ease that in this complex world it’s not possible to always be right. Think about everything that goes into managing a company; marketing, sales, accounts, etc. You simply can’t know everything and make the “best” decision all the time.
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Be aware of people’s projections
Your boss decides your goals, perhaps most of the time without you. What does this produce for you? How can you do everything you want to reach your goals this year? Does this produce confidence in you? Even if we need to be challenged. What if your boss’s goals were just his or her projections on you? The projection of what they think you can do or be, and what you can become if you were not this person.
Tip 1: In this situation, ask the question: “who does this belong to?” This gives you the opportunity to choose. Is this my projection or someone else’s? Acknowledging when this is a colleague or a superior’s projection on you will give you the confidence to make your goals be known and heard, not just theirs. Acknowledging where your values, goals and projections differ to someone else’s in your workplace, and where there’s similarities, will allow you to come to a compromise, without upset or resentment.
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Stop striving for perfection
Are you a perfectionist in your work? We have all heard the saying, “perfection is the enemy of good”. Yet many of us still strive for it.
Constantly trying to be perfect is a judgment that creates a separation in you and with your life and your work.
Tip 2: What if you could embrace your strengths and your weaknesses? What if you stop viewing mistakes and failures as a bad thing? Remove the need to be perfect, and focus on being you instead. Embracing the not-so perfect, letting go and having fun and enjoying work, will give you more opportunities to learn, grow and succeed. And you’ll be more likely to achieve that goal you’ve been striving for, such as a promotion, pay rise or pulling off a great presentation in front of your superiors.
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Give up people pleasing
We’re all guilty of people pleasing but the urge to please can sometimes drain you to the point where you become less productive, less confident and less happy.
When you are a pleaser, people know it, and they tend to ask more and more from you. And you fulfill those favors, so they ask for more. But by putting others before yourself, you are telling them that your time, needs and wants aren’t valuable. If you don’t value yourself, how will others value you, particularly in the workplace? This lack of value through constant people pleasing can mean missing out on opportunities to be paid your worth or getting a promotion you deserve.
Tip 3: Recognise the value you have and practice saying ‘no’ to others (and ‘yes’ to you). Be aware of what is required in a situation and ask yourself questions if you’re unsure whether to say yes or no – Is this relevant to me, or does it go beyond the scope of my job? Can someone else do it? Will this benefit me? Are there consequences if I don’t do it? Do I want to do it? You will be aware of situations where a task is a requirement of your job and those times where people are simply asking too much from you or trying to take advantage. Know when to say ‘no’ and, say it firmly and with confidence. It’s important to value yourself and make it known to colleagues or superiors that have tried to take advantage of your people pleasing.
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Let go of judgements
Does the idea of being on a stage or speaking in a meeting or presentation, something that scares you? Do you often think “I’m so shy” or “what will people think of me?”
These are all examples of judgements. It’s important to remember that judgements can include both judgements you have of yourself and judgements you receive from others.
What judgment from others have you received, and kept in you? It can be positive or negative, and in both cases, can keep us stuck and limited, in our life and in our work.
Each time you buy into these judgements from others, it becomes a judgement you have of yourself. But, does it really belong to you? Most of the time, no, it doesn’t. So why give this power to others and their judgements, instead of keeping your own power? And what judgements of yourself do you use to limit you? Can you let go of those too?
Tip 4: Destroy all the judgments you receive from people and all the judgments you have from yourself. Think about all the judgements you receive from others, acknowledge that they aren’t yours and they don’t belong to you, then let them go. Once you do that, it will be easier to destroy the judgements you have of yourself. You will then find yourself becoming more and more confident in life, relationships and in work.
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Ask questions
Ask questions, without searching for answers. This will open you up to more possibilities and give you the space needed to be more confident at work. Some questions you can ask yourself are:
- What’s the value of being perfect?
- What invention I am using to stop myself?
- What would it take to create the ease of me?
- What contribution can I be, for a better promotion?
These simple tips can help you gain more confidence in the workplace, whether it be the confidence to ask for a promotion or a raise, or to speak up in a meeting.
