If you are wanting to create not only success on the outside but also on the inside, it all begins with self-empowerment. If you’re asking yourself, ‘well…how do I become empowered and actually feel it?’ then keep on reading to discover the 5 truths that successful women are using to feel empowered on the inside even when they are busy and stressed.
Where it all begins…
How you got where you are at this precise moment in your life is a function of biology, psychology, your past, the culture in which you were raised, the way you were perceived as a child, the media you consume, the way you spend your day – as well as endless other factors that range from the incredibly significant to the barely noticeable. And you got here just as much based on the experiences you didn’t have.
So, in terms of where you are right now, what you didn’t experience is as significant as what you did experience and have come to accept as truth.
So, the question then becomes: are you aware of the experiences, truths, ideas, beliefs, perceptions, and choices that will empower you and help you feel successful on the inside?
This question becomes incredibly pressing if your life is less than delightful, if your career isn’t lighting you up, if you feel stressed, burnt out, stuck in the daily grind, if you want to reignite your passion and take life in your arms and embrace it. It becomes the most pressing question if you want to do something about it.
What does being empowered really mean?
This is what empowered means to me… It’s when you know that how you respond to life is how you respond to yourself. So, there are two questions for us both to consider.
- Is being empowered going to help you live your awesome life and feel truly successful?
- If so, what are the building blocks of this empowerment?
I’d like to suggest to you that when you know life is simply a reflection of your own perceptions, beliefs, attitudes, expectations, and choices then being empowered becomes vitally important. Especially if you don’t feel empowered! To explore this a little further, I invite you to challenge whatever “truths” you’ve been holding onto and question them. If they don’t meet the standard of helping you to feel and be empowered, then they have a lot to answer for. Ask yourself, “Am I allowing my most empowered self to chart the course of my life?”
You are responsible
Your empowerment won’t come about by wishfully imagining that some set of circumstances will vanish, or someone else will miraculously see things your way, or because a prayer for things to get easier is answered.
“You are the answer to all your prayers, to all your problems, and to all the misfortune you may have or be still experiencing”
I wondered, what if, after years of desperation, I had this power all along? What if it was in me from the get-go?
Turns out, it was
I became wealthy and successful only when I changed where I placed my responsibility for my results. I felt more empowered because I owned my BS, challenged it, and found another way. As I became more empowered, I was able to let go of the idea that I had to struggle financially.
No more lies
Back then, or what I affectionately call “the Beginning of Me Waking the Hell Up,” I liked being in my bubble of denial because I was so addicted to simple, straightforward, black-and-white thinking. Back then the complexity and ambiguity of life was unimaginably scary and unmanageable. Best play it safe. Best stay small. Best keep hidden. Best not stand out. Best not even try.
So, I pretended to myself that I would take a massive leap towards getting my life together… another time.
This was my great lie. I had lots of little lies to keep it company.
“My self-esteem will improve… somehow.”
“My comfort zone may be shrinking, but I know I’ll do something to break out of it… when I believe in myself.”
“I’ll go for that promotion…when I’m ready.”
“I’ll speak up in the next meeting…when I get more confidence”
“It’s not that I’m holding myself back… I’m just constantly misunderstood.”
And on it went. Endless answers to my own pain, which were all created with one serious design defect… they guaranteed my misery. These weren’t lies I told myself so that one day I might arrive at My Awesome Life. They were lies that were literally designed to give me misery.
The first thing I did, was to face my lies – the little ones that seem so harmless, and the bigger ones that you just know are getting in your way of your great mission to live Your Awesome Life.
And then, begin to slowly, gently, and a little fiercely, replace the BS with the big truths.
These are the truths that will move you toward your own empowerment. Here are a few big truths that I hold dear today, but which have taken more than a few years to become my truths:
- What you’re willing to do today is what you’ll be willing to do tomorrow. That’s the truth. If you’re not going to do it today, dump the BS that tomorrow will be different. Instead, do a little something today. Just enough so you live this truth. Your empowerment depends on it.
- How you do the little things is how you do everything. No more hiding. If you treat the little moments like they don’t matter, you’re going to keep having moments that don’t matter. Make them matter. Make this moment, right now, matter. Give this moment your attention, your focus, your appreciation.
- You tune into your empowerment when you keep your promises to yourself. Every promise you keep to yourself is a deposit into your empowerment bank. Each time you make a commitment to yourself that you don’t keep, your sense of empowerment drops and your Centered Self retreats. Stop, right now, with the “I’m gonna…” and replace it with, “I may…,” “I choose…,” “I am delaying this, and I’m being honest to myself about it…”
- Your Centered Self is hungry for you to only make promises that you will keep. Every promise you make and keep to another builds your sense of empowerment and empowers your relationships as well.
The next time you’re feeling overwhelmed, stressed or anxious, remind yourself of these truths, turn them into your mantra until you start to believe and live them. No more telling yourself the lies that keep you from reaching your full potential and feeling empowered. When you forget and start falling into old habits, give yourself a gentle and compassionate reminder of these truths and acknowledge yourself for making progress.
The above is an extract from her most recent book, Ultimate You, scheduled to be released in Australia on November 12.
