You can get annoyed by any number of things that other people do — from something as simple as the way someone walks or talks to deep, ingrained characteristics and traits. And for no apparent reason.
Sometimes you learn how to deal with them and move past all the annoying little things they do that get on your nerves. But other times, they can irritate you so much that seeing them and dealing with them on daily basis can feel like an absolute chore.
This can prevent you from doing your best work, communicating with them—especially over whatever issues you may have with them— and even criticizing them openly about things that aren’t really a problem and have nothing to do with their work or abilities to perform their job.
This can also undermine the impact of your work, your professionalism and especially the way your co-workers and boss see you. But that doesn’t mean you can’t work out your issues with them and be as professional as possible while at the workplace or interacting with them during your day.
1. Figure out why they bother you
It often takes a while to figure out why someone bothers you or rubs you the wrong way, and you may need a large dose of therapy to help you figure this one out. But doing so can go a long way in improving your relationship with them, even if it’s only in a professional sense.
In figuring this out, one of the questions you should ask yourself is: Are they actually annoying or are you being overly sensitive? Because at the end of the day, they’re probably not be trying to annoy you, and are possible not even aware of the things they do that you find annoying.
So have a good, long think about why someone bothers you because you may be able to meet them half way on certain things in your professional relationship—even if they don’t know about it. And after you have thought long and hard about why they bother you/rub you the wrong way, therapy or no therapy, you may discover that the reason they bother you is that they remind you of what you don’t like about yourself.
2. Get over it
The idea that you have to like everyone you work with is a myth because the truth is, you’re never going to like everyone you ever meet— you’re just not. But don’t worry, it’s ok.
Now, when you were a kid, you were probably told about what to do when you don’t like someone— and that still applies to adulthood and the workplace. Being able to put personal feelings aside and just get on with your work, is a far better strategy for working with them than stewing over the things they do that annoy you.
Besides, if you complain to your boss about how you don’t like a colleague and you don’t want to work with them on a team project, your boss will probably say something along the lines of, “You don’t have to like them, but you do have to work with them”. So just figure out a way to deal with it..
3. Don’t think it’s a waste of time
Working with someone doesn’t have be a waste of time because, even if you think you can do a better job without them, (which, by the way, might be your arrogance talking) they might be able to offer you or the team something that you had not thought of — or actually can’t do by yourself.
And, while it is annoying to have your time wasted, especially when you have a mountain of work to do, one of the last things you should do is make a mountain out of molehill in terms of just getting on with things.
4. Managing them
There are many ways to manage a colleague without being in a position of authority. Managing someone you don’t like and find annoying can simply involve you developing a strategy to be around them and being as professional as possible when working with or talking to them.
This doesn’t have to be anything overt or something they know about. It can be as simple and as subtle as you taking a few deep breaths in and out before talking to them or mentally preparing yourself for them ‘being at work’ before you leave home or enter the workplace.
5. Managing you
Managing yourself and how you interact with employees and colleagues is perhaps as important as how you manage them. To do this, you should take into consideration the following two tips about managing yourself.
6. Don’t let them get to you
Just because you don’t like someone and find them annoying, doesn’t mean you have to let them, or the things they do, get to you. To get past this, try to act as professionally as possible around them and make any and all interactions with them about business and nothing else.
7. Do your best work
Try to imagine the following scenario: you don’t like one of your colleagues and find them annoying. You have been asked to work with them on a project because you both have skills that would complement each others and have a very good result for the project.
What do you do? Do you approach your boss about it and explain why you don’t want to work with them on the project or in the future? Work with them anyway but not do your best work? Or do you put your dislike of them aside, work with them anyway and do your best work?
Answer: work with them anyway and do your best work because the first two options are not good reasons for you not to work with them or do your best work. it also won’t help you in terms of being seen in a good light by your boss or colleagues, especially the one you’ve been asked to work with.
8. Find something to like
As I mentioned above, you’re probably not going to like everyone you ever meet but, for one reason or another, you do have to deal with and interact with them on a regular basis at work. So you should try to find a way to keep your true feelings about them in check and under wraps.
Something that might help is trying to find something out about them that you have in common, like common interests outside of work or similar experiences. Talk about that instead of bringing up the things they do that annoy you.
9. Accept that you don’t need to be friends with all of your employees/co-workers
Much like the second tip, you may have been told as a child that you don’t have to be friends or even get along with everyone you meet. And the same still goes for being an adult or colleague.
When working with someone you don’t like, no matter what the reason is, you do have to have a certain level of acceptance for the fact that you won’t be friends—or even like each other. And you have to just be as professional as you can when working with them, even if it’s from afar—e.g. working within the same department but not necessarily side by side on the same projects.
This kind of professional, and even personal, distance can be a good thing because, while you may not be friends, you are still colleagues and have the ‘baggage’ of everything that entails, like being in the same building or on the same floor as them, seeing them in the hallway or break room and so on.
10. Remain positive with them
Just because you find someone annoying, doesn’t mean you can’t keep a level head and a positive attitude about working them. In an earlier tip, I suggested finding something you do like about them and focusing on that. This also applies here because you can use that thing you do like about them or have in common to stay positive about working with them and remind yourself that they’re not as bad or annoying as you might have thought.
Furthermore, it’s also a good idea to try to be as professional as possible when working with someone you don’t like, especially if you’re working closely with them, like on a team project. Because if you appear openly hostile or annoyed with them, they may say something to the boss about your behavior, which can affect the way you are seen by them and other colleagues, which can also affect your career on a more long term basis.
11. Focus on how they benefit your team
We, as people, can be annoyed by someone for any number of reasons. The sound of their voice, the way they walk, the way they eat or drink their lunch… anything. This can also affect our abilities to see how good they are at their jobs and how they may benefit the team you work with or the company as a whole.
By looking for the best qualities of someone you don’t like, you also start to see them in a different and better light than if you focused on the things they do that annoy you. In doing so, you’ll probably also find out just how they benefit your team, looking at how skilled they are at their job and what they do and can bring to the table in the future.
