Women in leadership positions tend to find the balance of being firm while still maintaining their feminine qualities even when surrounded by envious men who may feel that she doesn’t belong in that position — or that they can do better. But every now and then there is that one that just needs to test the waters and has to try you. In my case it took a lot of soul searching to deal with this encounter in a manner that would allow me to remain dignified and make my point all while not feeding into the “bitch” stereotype and still claim my throne as a BOSS CHICK. Here’s how I did it:
1. Brace yourself
First, ensure that you are in constant communication with your therapist for the pep talk and your psychiatrist to make sure your meds are at the maximum dosage necessary and required. Now the first may not be needed for all but again, in my case, with a son that’s a sophomore in college that I miss tremendously, dealing with two tween girls that are 16 months apart, and a marriage on the verge of capsizing…. The first was absolutely necessary.
2. Calm yourself
Secondly, make sure you find your sense of calm, peace and tranquility. You will never be able to effectively communicate with someone that is intent on misunderstanding you so self care is a must. I found myself meditating and even listening to gospel music to remove all the negative thoughts and behaviors that were attempting to overpower my will.
3. Scope the scenarios
Next, I went over every possible scenario that I could muster up regardless of how ridiculous I thought they were based on who I was dealing. I worked on the valid points and facts I wanted to convey and how I looked when I responded. I came prepared. I trained for the worst and hoped for the best. As with all things, practice makes perfect and I wanted to make sure he had no in to use the “you’re being emotional” or “you’re all in your feelings right now”.
4. Control your emotions
Lastly, I entered the room confident while being aware of my every movement even assuring that I did not have the “resting bitch face” that screamed “just try me!!!”. I reminded myself that whoever causes you to lose control and act in ways that you disapprove of…owns you. I wasn’t about to let that happen.
It’s sad and unfortunate that as women we have to put so much energy and work into doing what is perceived to come naturally for men and accepted without judgement.
You see, this gentleman outranked me by year, but I outranked him by position. He constantly felt the need to attempt to undermine me and increasingly became furious because our BIG BOSS always had my back. So he figured that he could outsmart me because he has a PhD therefore that equaled smarter than me. He thought he could intimidate me by raising his voice and trying to over talk me.
What he failed to realize is when you’re a BOSS CHICK, you made it where you are because you earned it. You already been through everything and everyone that tried to throw you off your game and still came out on top therefore, you already know how to handle and work through anything thrown your way.
It may take some longer than others to know when to STAND DOWN when you’re dealing with a BOSS CHICK. As always, the choice is yours.
