Refresh your Career 6: Are your confidence levels holding you back?


We need to first understanding the structure of confidence.  Think of a triangle.  The first point is self belief, the second point of the triangle is self value and the third point is self assured.  When these three things are in balance, you will be confident.

So getting up to full confidence is different for different things but what level of confidence do you have access to generally?  You are either a reasonably confident person or you lack confidence on most things.

Think of your old job when you had high confidence.  You were a master at your old role.  You knew everything about it.  Then you changed to a new job, and automatically you experienced lower confidence.  How long did it take you to get back your confidence?

My advice for when you are learning something new is “be gentle with yourself”.  I see my clients beating themselves up for not being a master of something while they learn it.  Be gentle with yourself while you learn and you’ll learn a lot faster.  Beating yourself up won’t get a better performance.  Being gentle with yourself will and you will build your confidence quicker than being mean to yourself.

To be confident, you have to have self-belief.  You have to think it will add value to you.  Then you have to be self-assured enough to stick with it long enough, to get good at it.

  1. So let’s take public speaking for example.  Do you believe you could learn to speak well in public?
  2. Do you think that it would add value to your life if you were to learn to public speak?
  3. Do you think if you did have to speak that you would prepare, practice and be organised?

If you can answer yes to all three questions, then you are likely to get confident on that issue.  If one or more of the 3 areas are out of balance, then you won’t be confident on public speaking.

When asking someone whether you should do something scary or not, go to someone who would say ‘why don’t you give it a go’.  What do have to lose?  Rather than someone, who isn’t confident either.

Confident people have a mindset of taking a chance, giving things a go.  If you start with good self-belief, you are more likely to think it will add value to your life and you are more likely to work on it, until you are good at it.

Whereas, people with low self confidence, tend to think they can’t do something, so won’t try.  They are quick to talk themselves out of it, so failure is inevitable and they will be proved correct every time that they can’t.

Remember that saying?  If you think you can’t, you can’t.  If you think you can, you can.

You will always be correct.


About Katrena Friel

Katrena Friel is ‘Australia's Leading Success Coach for Intrapreneurs’ and the author of the Refresh Your Career series. She is an international keynote speaker, fully qualified corporate trainer, therapist, facilitator, executive coach and award winning author, delivering sessions around the world. Katrena's energy and expressive approach will energise and challenge behaviors, beliefs and thinking. Known for her practical, pragmatic approach, she has been described as highly dynamic, spirited and empathic. Katrena is an expert in personal and professional development, helping people escape their current thinking in an express format. With people reporting that in 2 days they learnt more about themselves and others, than they have in the last 20 years. Katrena will enable you to have a giant leap forward in your evolution and ensure you become an expert in your field of excellence. The aim is to INSPIRE – ALIGN – ACTIVATE. You will walk away feeling refreshed, empowered, confident that you have a new deep understanding of your capability, more assured around how to add more value and guarantee your future, with an increased sense of self belief and self value. For those that value honesty, growth, creditability, expertise, experience and authenticity, then Katrena will Refresh your Thinking.

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