Boss Lady

Escape the ‘Perfectionism Trap’ – Give up being perfect


Perfectionists always strive to reach the unreachable perfection. They wish for the perfect life and business and every minute of every day they compare themselves to everyone in unrealistic ways. With every acknowledgement it seems they are only reminded they are “not enough.”

Deciding who is perfect and who is not, and when we are perfect and not, will keep judgments alive instead.

Perfectionism is a trap, as it will never be a reality. If we would like our business to find possibilities that no one else has found yet, we have to allow it to function beyond perfectionism. What if we don’t have to hurt and fix and polish and “perfectionize” ourselves and our business, to get results and be successful? What if we just have to live with our possibilities and capacities even when they are very different? What if the things we are not so good at could be our unique weird capacities? Are you loosing it if you perfectionize it? What if you could have a business that no one else can have? What actually works for you?

Here are some of my tips to getting out of the perfectionism trap:

Never give up, go forward

It doesn’t matter if others don’t understand you and it doesn’t matter if they misunderstand you. They don’t need to understand what you do for it to work. If it enthuses you, if there are people you enthuse with your business, and they are grateful, then it will work. If you use your curiosity, intuition, skills and qualities, your business will thrive. It doesn’t need to be perfect to be successful. As long as you believe in the service or product you’re offering and you’re open to new ways of working, new employees and their skills to tap into, innovation, creation, and so on, many different opportunities will open up for your business.

Explore the difference you are

I have often believed that if something is obvious and easy for me then it is for others, too. What is it that’s easy for you to do, which others find difficult and would even pay for someone to do or create for them? And what is hard for you to do? Most often we would like to be perfect in things that are hard for us to do. But what if you focused your energy and attention on what you excel in and are great at, rather than trying to be perfect at everything. What if you could simply outsource or ask for help in areas you find difficult? It’s those things we often find difficult, stress over and try and perfect that aren’t that important and focusing our energy on them isn’t doing anything to better our lives and businesses.

Sometimes I ask my business how old it is, in a figurative way

Sometimes I see it as a “newborn”, and in such cases it requires more attention, caring and presence from me. Other days I see it as a “school kid” and, in such cases, I can leave it with others and I can ask others to help – I can employ people. And sometimes it works on its own. Consider what your business requires of you. Remember you don’t have to do everything alone and you, and others, don’t have to do everything perfectly for it to work. Sometimes investing less time and energy in it works better. Other days, more time may need to be dedicated to certain tasks. Mistakes will be made, but these should see these as opportunities to learn from and grow. The mistakes often help you acknowledge areas you should change and what should stay the same. When you strive to do everything perfectly for your business, you are simply setting yourself up for failure.

Be willing to be yourself

In what way is your point of view different with business? When you would like to be perfect, you are not being you. If you try to be perfect or copy the way others function, you will become stressed, overwhelmed and more likely to fail. Acknowledge what is great about you instead and where your strengths lie. This can actually open you open to more opportunities for success, rather than dwelling on the skills and qualities you wish you had, or the things you wish you were perfect at doing.

When we start to allow ourselves and our business to be different, it functions in a different way. It isn’t better or worse, just different. When we do this, we start to get out of the constraints of perfectionism, and regardless of this, it can be even greater.

About Angéla Kovács'

Angéla Kovács lost her Dad at six and her Mum at 12. This tough start to life was further compounded with health complications (rheumatoid arthritis and other autoimmune issues), which left her in enormous pain and on constant medication. After leaving her career as a nurse, which she loved, she became depressed and suicidal. Discovering personal development organisation Access Consciousness and the Being You program, introduced her to a new realm of possibilities and changed her life from one of just getting by, on all fronts, to the complete opposite. Angéla now travels the world facilitating Being You classes and lives a life she never imagined possible in the depths of her illness.

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