Career Woman

You’ve got this: Why can’t I just run away to an island?


Dr Froswa’ Booker-Drew answers your questions, putting her years of experience and practice into the goal of solving those knotty problems that beset us, and assuring us: ‘you’ve got this’. If you’d like Froswa’ to look at your particular problem, email it to [email protected].


Why can’t I just go to an island somewhere and live off of the land?!?!? L.F. H.

Tonight, as I read your question, I find myself singing an old song from my childhood called Escape.  The chorus repeats in my head, “If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain, If you´re not into yoga, if you have half a brain, If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape, I´m the love that you´ve looked for, write to me, and escape.”  Considering that sleep has become challenging (enter perimenopause, my new companion), I think we all seek opportunities to escape and get away especially with an adult beverage and possibly Idris Elba on our arms as we ride off into the sunset.

Life is hard.  With the onslaught of social media that allows us to become voyeurs in the lives of our friends and colleagues, we are inundated with images of everyone living their best life.  In reality, if we pulled back the curtains and enter many of our acquaintances’ homes, many are struggling to find peace and to get away from the multi-tasking, overloaded lives we’ve created.  We have so much pressure to achieve this idea of success.  There is nothing wrong with the desire to have a better life but when it is at the expense of our health, our sanity and our wallets, it is a dream that is more draining than satisfying.

As a kid, I couldn’t wait to become an adult.  I dreamed of having my own place, a car and all of these material possessions.  Now that I’m older, there are times that I wish someone else was responsible for the loads I carry.  As women, I think we have to create those spaces in our lives that allow us to get away, to find our peace, and enjoy simple moments like when we were kids.

A trip to Aruba or even the Maldives is so mesmerizing right now.  I strongly encourage you to save for that trip to an island at some point and soon! But if you can’t go to an island and live off the land any time soon, how do you create the space for you to relax, reflect, rest, and rejuvenate?  For me, my get away is going to a convent or monastery for a few days.  I know this isn’t for everyone and there is definitely not an ocean view room.  What I have been able to receive in those moments of silence is the ability to quiet my mind and rest.  The lack of clocks, cellphones and technology helped me to be still, listen to my inner voice and think intentionally about my life’s direction without distractions.   There’s nothing wrong with asking the question about getting away.  It’s imperative that we look deeper to discover what is it that we need to retreat from and in our attempt to leave it, what is it that we really need but are not receiving?  It might not be your thing to be in a room full of nuns at dinner who don’t speak to you (LOVE IT!) but you need to find your space that allows you, even if its temporarily, to get away.  YOU.GOT.THIS.

About Dr. Froswa Booker-Drew

Dr. Froswa' Booker-Drew is a Partnership Broker. Relational Leadership Junkie. Connector. Author/Speaker/Trainer. Co-Founder, HERitage Giving Circle. She been quoted and profiled in Forbes, Ozy, Bustle, Huffington Post and other media outlets around the world. In addition, she has been asked to speak on a variety of topics such as social capital and networking, leadership, diversity, and community development to national and international audiences. This included serving as a workshop presenter at the United Nations in 2013 on the Access to Power. One of the most impactful life events for her was being a part of the documentary, Friendly Captivity, a film that followed a cast of 7 women from Dallas to India. Honors for her work include: Semi-finalist for the SMU TEDx in 2012, 2012 Outstanding African American Alumni Award from the University of Texas at Arlington, 2009 Woman of the Year Award by Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Inc. and Diversity Ambassador for the American Red Cross. Graduating with a PhD from Antioch University in Leadership and Change, she also attended the Jean Baker Miller Institute at Wellesley for training in Relational Cultural Theory and completed facilitator training on Immunity to Change. She has also completed training through UNICEF on Equity Based Evaluations, and is the author of 2 workbooks for women, Ready for a Revolution: 30 Days to Jolt Your Life and Rules of Engagement: Making Connections Last as well as a writer for several publications around the globe.

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