Boss Lady

I am not scared of commitment, but of committing to the wrong things


I was asked recently if I was afraid of or avoid commitment. I had a little think about it and responded with this: “I am not afraid of commitment, just of committing to the wrong things”

Elaborating on this, I mentioned how I’ve had a company for over 15 years and another one for over five years. I am committed strongly to my family, my fitness and my friends.

I have however over decades committed to people and things that I originally thought were a good idea — but which ended up being traumatic experiences or just monumental time wasters.

If I look further into my decision making process of such commitments the one single common denominator was that I didn’t listen to my gut instincts.

As women, we often find ourselves being extra cautious with commitment the older we get because of previous bad experiences and also a clearer vision of what we want.

Being committed requires hard work but committing to the wrong things or people can cost you dearly in your journey to reaching your goals and serious success.

This is a quick checklist to help you through the “commitment” decision making process

1. Does it fit your plan?

Don’t commit to something purely because you like the idea of it, flattered by the opportunity or someone merely asked you to do it. Having a plan/vision for your life and business will help with this.

3. Are you being pressured?

Don’t commit to something because you feel obligated (this is hard when it is a friend or family member). If you feel pressured, say you need time to consider the offer or invitation and politely decline if you conclude it is a commitment you should not be committing to.

3. Does it benefit you?

Ask yourself, what is in It for you? Yes you can ask this. There is nothing wrong with wanting a return on your commitment. If it is voluntary for a charity then you need to accept the fact you are doing it expecting no return at all (besides being a decent human).

4. What are the pros and cons

Create a pros and cons list. Be brutally honest with yourself. If you have a trusted friend or colleague, show them as they are usually the ones to pull you up on things we avoid facing.

5. Do you have a Plan B?

If it doesn’t work out, do you have a backup plan or an exit strategy? (aka don’t put all your eggs in one basket). It is important to always have this in place. Either literally or mentally.

There are two methods I use to help make up my mind on top of the above list.

  1. If in doubt, throw it out.
  2. Flip a coin (you often know the decision once it is in the air)

About Amanda Rose

Founder and CEO of The Business Woman Media. Amanda Rose is also the only 'strategic connector', a brand strategist, keynote speaker and host of Amanda Rose TV. Connect with Amanda Rose on LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter or visit

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