Boss Lady

Here is what counts when you’re trying to influence others


In previous times there was the point of view that a women in business should act “normal“ which means in conformity with others to be successful. Time has changed. What if nowadays a woman could be more successful with her natural style than ever before? How would your life change if you would use your power in such a different way that business and success has much more to do with ease and joy and fun than you could imagine possible? Is now the time?

Changing the way you view things

To influence others depends on how you think about yourself. Maybe you have many points of view about influencing others or doing business that you´re not even aware you have. These points of view are the cause of many so-called problems. Here you have the opportunity to recognize that there may be a different way of looking at the world. And there may be a way to generate something totally different in your life if you change the way you view things. To discover what it means to you write down your answers to these questions:

  • What does business mean to you?
  • What does influence mean to you?
  • What do others say what you should or should not do?

Do you define yourself as a hardworking woman? What if you would define yourself instead as a joyful creative person? Do you have a guilty conscience if you do something just for yourself and not for your business? What if doing something for yourself is just what you need to have such a glory around you nobody could resist it?

What would change if you would reverse everything you wrote regarding what business and influence means to you? If everything would be the opposite of what it appears to be right now what else could be possible?

What would a meeting look like if you would not have to fight to influence others? What could a business presentation or business negotiation mean to you if you know you don’t have to be hard and tough but kind and relaxed? Imagine a river. What does water do? It has the ability to dissipate a mountain with continuity. The water element is the strongest element we have on planet earth. It influences everything. Connect to this energy.

Be willing to receive everything

Especially women have the innate capacity to receive. More or less they don’t use it anymore. Very often the assumption exists that one has to protect herself and so the willingness and ability to receive everything is no longer available. To receive everything means to expand your awareness in such a degree that you know what you know without even thinking about. It is being connected with everything around you so that you instantaneously know what´s going on and how to change your approach. How could you re-connect? Here are the three main points:

  • Lower your barriers. You don´t need a protection. Everything is energy. The spoken word, the body language, the thoughts are energy. Only the definition of what it means to you makes it a good or a bad thing. Your barriers are as well energy. You can imagine them as a wall around you. Lower the wall down so you can be more aware of the space around you. With this space you have access to totally different information of your partner, your colleagues, your employees, your customer. You sense what they can and cannot receive. You can only influence others in the way they can receive what you have to offer.
  • Forget your expectations. Every time you have a fixed point of view of what has and has not to happen, you get caught in your own created illusion. Be with that what happens right now. Don´t make more or less out of it. Just be with what is. This is the pragmatic way to influence others.
  • No judgment. Every judgment is not only a limitation, it kills all possibilities. If you judge you are captured in contextual reality. It is already determined whether you are winning or losing and whether you are fitting or benefiting. Huge amounts of people are doing contextual reality, so you can´t get rid of it. It´s always contextual when someone says: “I can´t do this“ or “this is not working“ or “it never worked before.“ You have to see this but you don’t have to live it.

Judgment is always connected to the past because it can only exist if you compare something. If you do no judgment you influence others in such a degree you can´t imagine. No judgment means to have all possibilities available.

Living in the question

Questions are the key to influence others. Every question gives access to new possibilities. New possibilities lead to more choices. More choices equal more awareness, which creates in turn again more possibilities. When you are faced with a challenging situation, cultivate an attitude of curiosity and ask unlimited questions.

Living in the question means you are constantly asking yourself and other questions like:

  • “What are the possibilities here we do not have considered yet?“
  • “What choices do we have?”
  • “What needs to change right now?”
  • “What do we have to put in place?“

And replace your own negative or unproductive thoughts with unlimited questions like:

  • “What am I pretending not to know about..?“
  • “What would it take for XYZ to happen?“
  • “What else is possible?“ Ask this question when something did not turn out the way you want it as well as when you succeeded in any area of your life.
  • “How does it get any better than this?“

Don´t expect answers right now. Be curious what is going to happen.

Be the one who could ask questions that leads to more awareness, more ideas, better collaboration and more business. Would you then be willing to acknowledge yourself as a brilliant influencer?

About Beate Nimsky

Beate Nimsky is an inspirational catalyst for change, who works with CEOs, business owners, entrepreneurs and leaders in companies developing their leading abilities. She has been a pioneer in consulting and implementing value driven cultures in companies for more than 25 years. She is a certified Right Voice for You facilitator, a specialty program from personal development organisation Access Consciousness® and includes all the Access® tools within her coaching and consultations. Join Beate´s new online course here.

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