Dr Froswa’ Booker-Drew answers your questions, putting her years of experience and practice into the goal of solving those knotty problems that beset us, and assuring us: ‘you’ve got this’. If you’d like Froswa’ to look at your particular problem, email it to managingeditor@thebusinesswomanmedia.com.
My office has an active social calendar, but I don’t drink. Declining wine always means ending up in a conversation where people try to convince me to have a drink. Any tips for dealing with this, without looking like a killjoy? Anita R.
Anita,
Your question reminds me of when I visit a friend’s home and they have a big dog. I mean, the kind of dog that can sit at the table, upright and eat with a fork. When I tell my friend(s) I am a bit frightened of their freakishly large animal, they reply, “Oh, Froswa’, he doesn’t bite.” Yes, you are correct. He doesn’t bite YOU!!! I find myself so irritated because instead of paying attention to how I feel, they are more concerned with convincing me that I am missing out. Your dog might be amazing. S/he can probably change tires and clean windows and that’s okay. I’m just not willing to explore a deeper, more meaningful relationship with your pet. He likes YOU. He might not necessarily feel a level of kinship with me. I’m a small dog kind of lady and my two little ones are just enough for me. Please accept it and move on.
As much as your co-workers want you to have fun with them, it is insensitive. For whatever reason, you don’t want a glass of wine and that is OKAY! I think the best thing to do is to explain to them in no uncertain terms that you are excited that they want to have a good time. You do not want to drink but will support their decision to do so and that you hope that they can support yours NOT to drink. You. Got. This, Anita! Get your Shirley Temple (one of my favorites) and as they say in my home state of Louisiana, laissez le bon temps rouler …or let the good times roll!
