Career Woman

You’ve Got This: How to cope with the office social calendar

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Dr Froswa’ Booker-Drew answers your questions, putting her years of experience and practice into the goal of solving those knotty problems that beset us, and assuring us: ‘you’ve got this’. If you’d like Froswa’ to look at your particular problem, email it to [email protected].

My office has an active social calendar, but I don’t drink. Declining wine always means ending up in a conversation where people try to convince me to have a drink. Any tips for dealing with this, without looking like a killjoy? Anita R.

Anita,

Your question reminds me of when I visit a friend’s home and they have a big dog.  I mean, the kind of dog that can sit at the table, upright and eat with a fork.  When I tell my friend(s) I am a bit frightened of their freakishly large animal, they reply, “Oh, Froswa’, he doesn’t bite.” Yes, you are correct.  He doesn’t bite YOU!!!  I find myself so irritated because instead of paying attention to how I feel, they are more concerned with convincing me that I am missing out.  Your dog might be amazing.  S/he can probably change tires and clean windows and that’s okay.  I’m just not willing to explore a deeper, more meaningful relationship with your pet.  He likes YOU.  He might not necessarily feel a level of kinship with me.  I’m a small dog kind of lady and my two little ones are just enough for me.  Please accept it and move on.

As much as your co-workers want you to have fun with them, it is insensitive.  For whatever reason, you don’t want a glass of wine and that is OKAY!  I think the best thing to do is to explain to them in no uncertain terms that you are excited that they want to have a good time.  You do not want to drink but will support their decision to do so and that you hope that they can support yours NOT to drink.  You. Got. This, Anita!  Get your Shirley Temple (one of my favorites) and as they say in my home state of Louisiana, laissez le bon temps rouler …or let the good times roll!

About Dr. Froswa Booker-Drew

Dr. Froswa' Booker-Drew is a Partnership Broker. Relational Leadership Junkie. Connector. Author/Speaker/Trainer. Co-Founder, HERitage Giving Circle. She been quoted and profiled in Forbes, Ozy, Bustle, Huffington Post and other media outlets around the world. In addition, she has been asked to speak on a variety of topics such as social capital and networking, leadership, diversity, and community development to national and international audiences. This included serving as a workshop presenter at the United Nations in 2013 on the Access to Power. One of the most impactful life events for her was being a part of the documentary, Friendly Captivity, a film that followed a cast of 7 women from Dallas to India. Honors for her work include: Semi-finalist for the SMU TEDx in 2012, 2012 Outstanding African American Alumni Award from the University of Texas at Arlington, 2009 Woman of the Year Award by Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Inc. and Diversity Ambassador for the American Red Cross. Graduating with a PhD from Antioch University in Leadership and Change, she also attended the Jean Baker Miller Institute at Wellesley for training in Relational Cultural Theory and completed facilitator training on Immunity to Change. She has also completed training through UNICEF on Equity Based Evaluations, and is the author of 2 workbooks for women, Ready for a Revolution: 30 Days to Jolt Your Life and Rules of Engagement: Making Connections Last as well as a writer for several publications around the globe.

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