When a woman negotiates with a man there is often an expectation that the male will be gentler on the female than he would be with another male. This is a very dangerous assumption to make.
Yes, most men know they need to deal with a women differently than with a man. But it’s not that they are ‘gentler’.
In fact, if they play their cards right they often leave the negotiations with more than they expected and they secure it in less time. Why? Because women fall for common strategic moves.
1. Flattery
The oldest trick in the book yet still used frequently. Men will flatter a woman in order to get her to drop her defenses. This is more than physical flattery, mind you. If they feel you are fierce competition in the negotiations they will flatter your career or work achievements. Remember, if they think that highly of you and your work, then as the saying goes “put your money (or project) where your mouth is”.
2. Family
Connecting with a woman by using chatter about respective families gives the woman a false sense of loyalty and comradeship. Having children go through the same experiences and being sidetracked by the most important part of a woman’s life is the ultimate of distractions and example of ‘softening us up’.
3. Flirting
Yes this still happens. All the time. Men flirt with women in negotiations as another distraction technique. Some men can take it as far as dating a woman until the negotiations are over – to make sure he gets what he wants. Make sure you put business first. If he wants to date you he can wait until he has signed on the dotted line.
4. Fantasy
Imagery of what could be in the future is bait for the young and ambitious woman. A lack of experience can result in agreeing to something you aren’t happy with now because they promised you the world in the future. And remember, if it isn’t in writing it WASN’T agreed to.
5. Fiction
Yep, I said it. Straight out lying. To the perpetrator this is just how it’s done, you know “business is business”. It happens all too often. If you are negotiating with a man and it doesn’t sound right, then take your time to do your due diligence and research. Ask “why” as much as you need to and use the term “I will need to get back to you on that” so you don’t feel pressured.
When it comes to negotiations with a man, make sure you walk into it knowing your worth, knowing what you want and always be prepared to walk away.
