If you’ve seen the latest statistics, there’s no way you’d want to be a woman.
Women are better educated, but men are better paid. Women make up almost half of the workforce (about 46%) but they take home nearly $300 a week less than men. Men dominate the top jobs.
Despite having paid jobs, working women also bear the brunt of the housework devoting, on average, 28 hours a week to washing, cooking, preparing lunches, organising and driving carpools, solving family problems and decision-making.
Mothers spend more than twice as many hours each week looking after children compared to fathers. Women account for 92% of primary carers for children with disabilities, 70% of primary carers for parents and 52% of primary carers for partners.
The stream of research is never-ending, and the numbers tell a compelling story: In Australia, being a woman means being over loaded and undervalued.
And so we keep hearing. So we keep telling ourselves. So we keep telling each other. So we keep telling our children.
All of this constant noise and these stories we keep telling ourselves, they’re not helpful.
Time and again we sustain this negative story. We reiterate the rhetoric, and we give it credence and importance by underlining each point with the latest research and some hard-hitting news headlines. We say things like: women are failing at having it all. Women are the poorer sex. Women’s skills and contributions are not appreciated in ways that matter by our society.
Reading between the lines, the message is loud and clear: Women are inferior.
And then we not only accept this status quo, but we feel compelled to justify it too, by saying things like ‘Oh, women, don’t know how to make time for themselves. We really do need to get better at this.’ And so the story continues to be validated.
Frankly, it’s no wonder we have burnout and depression and anxiety at skyrocketing levels.
Honestly? It’s time we just shut up.
For two reasons: Firstly, because this constant noise and these stories we keep telling ourselves; they’re not helpful. They simply perpetuate negative ideas and stereotypes and behaviour. Furthermore, they are giving us the same old result which – let’s be clear and pragmatic – isn’t really all it’s cracked up to be now, is it?
Secondly – perhaps more importantly – we’re actually having the wrong conversation.
“Feminisim” talk is antiquated. It needs to end. We need to stop articulating the plight of women, the social standing of women, the victories and the progress made by women.
Only when we drop the labels like feminism are we going to be able to authentically and effectively start talking about equality.
We need to stop talking about women. Full Stop.
And we need to stop talking about men. Full stop.
Instead, we need to be talking about people. We need to be focusing on individuals.
We need to be understanding unique skills and personalities; valuing personal contributions. Increasing self worth.
What does this mean?
It means that as a society, we need to start looking at people as the talented, beautiful individuals they are, each with a unique skill set and personality, and a valuable contribution to make. We need to start instilling in ourselves (and each other) a strong sense of our own self worth.
Labels are useful, but they are not crucial for a functioning society.
And only when we drop the labels are we going to be able to authentically and effectively start talking about equality.
Equality for Joe, and Anna, and Louise, and Sara and Steve who are all people with vastly different backgrounds, circumstances and life plans.
It is time that we put people first. Not men, not women, not the elderly or tweens or Generation X, but people, no matter where they are from, how old they are, what school they went to, how much they earn, or any other defining factor.
In order to solve the inequality in our society – not just inequality for women, but also for men, the poor, the disabled and the uneducated and disadvantaged, we must do something different from what we’ve always done.
Now, I’m not for one single moment suggesting that a change like this is going to be easy.
But it is POSSIBLE.
And it starts in our heads. Neuroscience explains how the brain works. It also offers strategies for changing the way the brain works. The brain is a muscle, and just like all of our other muscles, we can retrain it. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, Neurolinguistics Programming and Mental Emotional Release (MER®) are all special techniques that we can use to change the way we think, and because our existence is intrinsically linked to what we think, by changing our minds, we can change our lives.
It really is that simple. If we begin to work with the brain, to harness its greatest abilities, we can find our true potential. If we shift our perceptions, we can see new a reality. When we start telling ourselves positive stories – like we are worthy of recognition and success and loving relationships and peace and happiness, then with diligence and application, we can assert these expectations in our minds so they will actually become our experiences. Without going into too much detail, this is because the mind has an uncanny ability to attract the things we think about, through its Reticular Activating System.
There is an ever-growing body of evidence supporting the validity of neuroscience. The success stories are plentiful too. By tapping into the power of their minds people have cured themselves of cancer, people have moved past deep depression, people have brought physical movement back to their bodies after being debilitated by an illness or accident.
So, coming back to where we started …. while we keep talking about the inequality in our society – not just inequality for women, but also for men, the poor, the disabled, the uneducated and disadvantaged, we’re going to remain stuck in this self-fulfilling prophecy.
Albert Einstein said that we cannot solve our problems with the same thinking that created them.
So we need to change the conversation, and begin to tell ourselves a new story. We need to talk about egalitarianism. We need to embrace individualism and empower people to express themselves. We need to create a culture that inspires people to wake up each day with a mindful intent to create a life they enjoy and are proud of. Society will be impacted by such positive thinking and behaviour. Many pieces will eventually make the whole, and we will begin to solve unrest and disharmony too, step by step, until the world is an entirely different place.
Because no matter who we are, first and foremost, we are people. We are all human beings and we are each capable of amazing things, if only we would believe it. No one is better than any one else, our life experiences are just different from each other.
Understanding that we each have the power to make beneficial change not just to our own circumstances, but also the circumstances of others, is the first step of the transformation journey. But change starts from within. And Neuroscience can lead the way.
Evidence
- Mind over medicine – Lissa Rankin talks about radical remission of cancer. There is an abundant of information from doctors and neuroscience researchers that had found the only one common thing that they discovered in their research dealing with cancer patience, the ones that survived had changed their mindset.
- The Miracle Man
A true story Morris E. Goodman who was paralyzed from a plane crash with his neck broken at C1 and C2, his spinal cord crushed, and every major muscle in his body destroyed he is walking and back to normal after changing his mindset by ignoring the doctors that he would never walk again. It was in the movie ‘The Secret’.
- Holographic Universe
Tumors that melt like snowballs on a hot stove? Yes. Understanding the role such factors play in a placebo’s effectiveness is important, for it shows how our ability to control the body holographic is folded by our beliefs. Our minds have the power to do anything we put them to.
- Washington crime study – 23% drop in violent crime due to meditating group.
