Career Woman

You got this: My manager is mean


Dr Froswa’ Booker-Drew answers your questions, putting her years of experience and practice into the goal of solving those knotty problems that beset us, and assuring us: ‘you’ve got this’. If you’d like Froswa’ to look at your particular problem, email it to [email protected].

I have legitimate concerns about our projects and work processes (like having to work through yet ANOTHER weekend). But I can’t bring them up with my manager. If I say anything, he’ll get angry, or just see me as incompetent. I don’t know what to do. Jana


The more I receive questions like yours, the more I am convinced that we not only have a leadership problem but we also have a relational problem in many of our companies and organizations.  So many people are placed in leadership positions that are promoted to roles without having the skills necessary to lead a team.  What we call soft skills are really hard.  These are skills such as communication, empathy, and conflict resolution.

I am so sorry that you have a boss who obviously transfers his insecurities and places them on to others.  The fact that he becomes angry because you raise concerns is more about his incompetence than it is about yours.  There is a difference between a leader and a manager.  A true leader inspires his/her team and when there are concerns from team members, they are open to hearing them and creating solutions instead of finding blame.

You got this: My manager is mean

In the meantime, is there an opportunity to work with your colleagues to address the projects and processes with the goal of creating something collaboratively that can make work easier for all of you?  As much as I am believer of having a conversation with your supervisor, you’ve tried repeatedly so that doesn’t seem to be much of an option.  Are you documenting your conversations with follow up emails?  Are responses different with emails than in person?

With limited information, I’m curious to know the role of the HR Department at your job?  Are they able to impact leadership and influence organizational culture?  This sounds like a problem that is much bigger than you and your boss.  Behavior like this is often tolerated by organizations because they are more interested in results than creating processes that are effective and efficient.  By working all of those extra hours, they obviously aren’t concerned with productivity, either.  My friend, your job sounds exhausting and toxic.  You deserve better, Jana.  If you’ve done all that you can do to make the issues known to your boss and to HR, then it might be time to move on to a place that respects your time, talent, and desire to make things work better. You. Got. This.

About Dr. Froswa Booker-Drew

Dr. Froswa' Booker-Drew is a Partnership Broker. Relational Leadership Junkie. Connector. Author/Speaker/Trainer. Co-Founder, HERitage Giving Circle. She been quoted and profiled in Forbes, Ozy, Bustle, Huffington Post and other media outlets around the world. In addition, she has been asked to speak on a variety of topics such as social capital and networking, leadership, diversity, and community development to national and international audiences. This included serving as a workshop presenter at the United Nations in 2013 on the Access to Power. One of the most impactful life events for her was being a part of the documentary, Friendly Captivity, a film that followed a cast of 7 women from Dallas to India. Honors for her work include: Semi-finalist for the SMU TEDx in 2012, 2012 Outstanding African American Alumni Award from the University of Texas at Arlington, 2009 Woman of the Year Award by Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Inc. and Diversity Ambassador for the American Red Cross. Graduating with a PhD from Antioch University in Leadership and Change, she also attended the Jean Baker Miller Institute at Wellesley for training in Relational Cultural Theory and completed facilitator training on Immunity to Change. She has also completed training through UNICEF on Equity Based Evaluations, and is the author of 2 workbooks for women, Ready for a Revolution: 30 Days to Jolt Your Life and Rules of Engagement: Making Connections Last as well as a writer for several publications around the globe. WFAA Attention Series: Froswa Booker Drew on Vimeo

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